tips for better sleep when your child is misusing drugs or alcohol, with Brenda Zane
Host: Brenda Zane, brenda@brendazane.com
Instagram: @the.stream.community
The Stream Community: online and app-based community for moms of kids experimenting with or addicted to drugs or alcohol
Free ebook: “HINDSIGHT: 3 Things I Wish I Knew When My Son Was Misusing Substances, by Brenda Zane. Download here
Resources:
The Sleep Guide - companion to the podcast
Sleep meditation for parents of addicted children (Insight Timer)
Health risks from not sleeping well or enough
Cold feet/wearing socks to bed
Show Transcript:
Sleep Meditation:
I cannot go to sleep knowing he's all alone. But I can't keep going, I can't take any more today.
God, please take this shift. I need rest, I need peace, even just a few hours of escape.
Laying in bed, eyes closed, I see my son in his ragged, sagging jeans, skinny and frail, walking on a wide, stormy beach. He's not happy or sad, he's just walking. I see him turn and start walking toward the waves, calm but determined.
I've seen him walk this direction before, so many times. We both know it's the wrong direction but it looks so enticing. I can't stop him. I want to roll the waves back so he'll never reach them, but I can't, I don't know how to do that.
Just as his old, dirty tennis shoes reach the closest wave I see a large, calming but mighty figure appear next to him. He's holding the baby blanket I sewed for my boy decades ago. It still smells like his fresh, chubby baby skin and I think about the innocence and safety it represents.
The large figure takes a step toward my son and gently, but with ownership, wraps the blanket around his shoulders and pulls him close.
My son doesn't react, doesn't pull away or succumb to the strength of this loving gesture, but he stops walking toward the ocean, stops seeking the waves that could swallow him.
The figure stands still, solid. The waves and sand can't move him. I know he'll stay like this until I'm back, until my shift is ready to start again. As I drift off to sleep I hear him say to me,
I’ve got him.
Brenda Zane 03:33
Welcome to Hopestream, a podcast for parents are trying to navigate the tricky waters of a child who's an act of addiction treatment or early recovery. I'm Brenda Zane, your host and fellow mom to a son who battled a prescription drug addiction and nearly lost his life to multiple fentanyl overdoses. So I see you and I feel your pain all too well. Hopestream is the place where you'll find resources from experts, stories from families and thoughts and perspectives from me on how to keep some sanity and sense of health while your child is in a very scary and risky situation. There's a lot of attention and focus that gets placed on our kids. But who's focused on helping you? I am. I hope you'll subscribe and listen each week as we give each other strength and hope. And now let's get into today's episode.
Brenda Zane 04:29
Welcome to the 10th episode of hope stream. I know 10 episodes is not a lot for many podcasters who have hundreds and hundreds but I am sort of just doing a little mini celebration because this is quite a milestone for somebody who has never done anything like this before. And I've had some really amazing guests on so far and even more coming up. So just very excited to have you guys his supporters have great downloads. And I know that people are sharing these episodes. And so I just want to say thank you for that.
Brenda Zane 05:08
And today we are talking about sleep. And I would love to just ask you a question to think about and that is, when is the last time that you slept all night without waking up and actually felt rested in the morning. And this would be without any help, by the way, from medication or alcohol. So I'm guessing that a lot of you can't even remember the last time that happened. And that is exactly why we are going to be talking about this today because it's just so prevalent in all of the families that I speak with that sleep is one of the very first things to go and of course, it's understandable why that happens. Because we are worried out of our minds and it's very, very hard to sleep when you are worried.
So it's not only important to sleep for your sanity, but also just for your ability to help your child if and when they decide that they want your help. And it really needs to be a priority for you. Because if you're not able to really function clearly, and know what's going on, be very clear and alert and feel some sense of sanity, it's going to be really, really hard for you to help your child in the way that they need it. And we know that they need a lot of help. And so this is that universal thing that I hear from parents and talking with you that is just a really critical part of your life. And it's either that you can't fall asleep, because you're laying there thinking about everything. Not only with your child, but you're worried about your job, you're worried about the other family members, siblings, you're probably having a really rough time with your partner or spouse and the list just kind of goes on.
There's that, or the other scenario that I see a lot is people saying I can fall asleep in an instant but I wake up at two or three o'clock in the morning and I'm wide awake. And I'm kind of feeling a sense of panic and anxiety in my chest. And it's a real thing. It's not just I wake up and I'm laying there awake, there's really a sense of anxiety and fear, and you're just not able to go back to sleep. And this is really understandable when you have a kid who you know, you feel that you're really helpless to do anything for your hands are tied behind your back. They don't want help, or you can't find the help that they do want or need. And I guess what I would say is that when you feel that helplessness, there are some things that you can do. And sleep is really one of those things you can work on and improve. I know it probably doesn't seem that you can, but it really is and so that's why I wanted to dedicate an entire episode to sleep. Because it is something that you can do for your child. So when a lot of things are out of your control, it's nice to just sort of find one thing that you can be in control of and prioritize, and zero in on as a way to help yourself and also to help your child.
Brenda Zane 08:17
So this is obviously, you know, important from an energy standpoint. But also there are some real medical risks that you run if you don't get enough sleep. And the American Academy of Sleep Medicine did some research and found that one of every three people in the United States doesn't get adequate sleep. But I am telling you, if they interviewed us if they interviewed parents of kids who are, you know, at risk, if you're misusing drugs or alcohol, that would be three of three. So I'm going to start out by sharing some of those risks that occur from a physical standpoint. And then we'll talk about some strategies and things that you can actually do that really, really will help you get more sleep. So you might want to grab a pen and take some notes. But I'm also going to be posting a sleep guide on my website and so that you can go there and download all of this information as well. It's just going to be at BrendaZan.com/sleep. And that will get you this guide. So feel free to either take notes or just know that you can download that as well.
Brenda Zane 09:27
So I'm wondering if you have noticed that you're getting sick more often, maybe it's a cold, it's probably you know, nothing super serious. But it's taking you longer to get better. And this is because a lack of sleep weakens your immune system. And so you are going to be getting sick more often. And especially right now I'm recording this in the time of COVID-19 lockdown, you do not want your immune system to be compromised. So this is a really serious thing and I hear this all the time from parents is I kid getting cold. And normally if I get a cold or bounce right back, but I am not, I'm just kind of continually dragging and continually feeling sick. And this is one of the impacts of not sleeping. And if you sleep less than five hours a night, or on the opposite end, if you sleep nine or more, which I'm probably thinking not many of you do, so we don't need to worry about that. But if you're sleeping in less than five, you have a greater risk of heart disease. And in particular, a greater risk of coronary heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or having a stroke. And all of these you're at higher risk for if you're sleeping less than seven or eight hours per night. So pretty scary. And those are things that, you know, I think we overlook and we think, oh, that would never happen. But if you're going through this over a long period of time, and I know that some of you are years into this battle, you really are going to be at higher risk for those diseases.
Brenda Zane 10:59
Also, does the term brain fog mean anything to you? You might notice that you are not able to really focus on tasks, you're having a really hard time learning new things. You're forgetting things. And you know, I think some of us as we get older, we just anticipate that those things are going to happen, but you're noticing that it is really happening more than it should be. And this is just another symptom of a lack of sleep. And these are really hard things, especially for parents who are juggling, you know, a very demanding career, managing other children managing other aspects of their life, you know, in volunteering, when you've got a lot of things going on, and you're not able to focus and you're sort of walking around in a daze which I know many of us are. It is really really not only difficult, but it's it's difficult for you to stay employed. And we know that we all have to stay employed and and those are real risks that can lead to other circumstances, if you're not employed, it's very difficult to afford treatment, very difficult if you lose insurance. So this is a really serious one.
Brenda Zane 12:10
Another thing that I hear all the time is weight gain. So gaining weight is another very real symptom of not sleeping enough. There was a study that took a look at the relationship between sleep and weight in over a little over 20,000 adults who were over the age of 20. And they did this study for three years and the people who slept less than five hours each night, were more likely to gain weight and they eventually became obese. But the people who slept between seven and eight hours did not. So again, I know it's really, really difficult to think about and you're probably rolling your eyes, saying, I really wish I could sleep in seven or eight hours. But hopefully you're hearing some of these very real and very scary things that can happen.
Brenda Zane 13:00
You're also a lot more accident prone if you are not sleeping. So you're three times more likely to be involved in a car accident if you get six or less hours of sleep each night. And this is a study that the National Sleep Foundation did. And you know, they include in that category, they say that the most vulnerable people are shift workers, commercial drivers, business travelers, you know, and anyone else who's working long or odd hours, but I would say that a very vulnerable group of people for that is parents like you and people who are laying awake each night worried about their kids.
Brenda Zane 13:39
And lastly, one of the other sort of hazards and symptoms that we see very commonly is just aging and I know when my son was going through his battle, I swear I aged 20 years in five. You know, my hair look terrible. My skin looked terrible. I was a stressed non eater, so I was horribly underweight and malnourished. And, you know, there was also another study that was done with people between the age of 30 and 50. Looking at their sleep habits and the condition of their skin, and it really showed that those people who weren't getting enough sleep had more lines and wrinkles and uneven skin color, looseness of the skin, I probably don't need to tell you this, you might look in the mirror each morning and just say Who is that person who is that in the mirror, I used to not look like this. It does tend to age us very, very quickly.
Brenda Zane 14:35
So that's not a bad news. So let's spend the rest of this time talking about some practical things that you can do that will really increase the odds of you getting a good night's sleep. And this is something that you have to work on. It's not going to happen just overnight. It's not a flip that you can switch and everything will be better. But these are things that are really practical and real that you can do over time to start just increasing the amount of sleep that you get, and not everything is going to work for you. So just take what does and experiment and you know, try a couple of different things. So that you can start weaving these into your routine and getting more sleep.
Brenda Zane 15:18
So first of all, I think we need to talk about mindset. And I think a lot of us kind of drag ourselves to bed, either fearing that we're not going to be able to fall asleep, or we're dreading dreams that we may have, we're dreading a phone call that's going to come in late. I know evenings and nights can be very challenging for us parents, where somehow our kiddos tend to just come alive at that time and call us and have needs and requests and it can get really, really challenging. But I think if you can change your mindset to thinking of going to bed as sort of this luxurious retreat for yourself. You're not dreading it, you're not dragging yourself there in the very worst possible condition that you can be in, that can help to just shift the perspective on what that time of day means and what it's doing for you. And in thinking back to all of the risks that we just talked about, starting to look at sleep as your way of protecting yourself from all of those negative impacts and a way to really give something back to yourself. We spend most of our days giving and giving and giving, and trying to help our kids and trying to help our other kids who are not impacted by addiction and trying to explain it to family and trying to find doctors and trying to find treatment. And it's just exhausting. And so think of sleep and evening, as a time that you get to give back to yourself. And one of the things that I think is really important is to get into that mindset is to really find a mantra or meditation of some kind where you place your child in the hands of someone else for a few hours.
Brenda Zane 17:07
Now I have a more traditional Christian belief system. So for me, that is God but for you, this might be someone, someone else it might be just somebody that you call higher, you know higher power or divine source or it might be Mother Nature. It doesn't really matter who that is for you. I respect all all beliefs and whatever is there for you. But to put your child in the hands of that higher power for a few hours, can help to lift the burden off of you of wondering what will happen if I go to sleep? What will happen when I wake up, and I shared at the beginning, what I sort of used and, and sort of what came to me while my son was going through it and then all of the nights where I didn't know where he was I didn't know. I knew for sure he would be coming home. And I just really had a hard time putting my head down. Not that I thought I could do anything in that time, but it was just incredibly hard to let go. And so I created in my mind, and I just recently only wrote it down and recorded it. But if it was helpful to you feel free to borrow it, and it whatever makes sense for you.
Brenda Zane 18:26
And again, the the words to that will be in the sleep guide that you can download from my website and just either write your own, maybe you just have something that you think about in your mind, that will help you. But hopefully that gives you an idea of one way that you can start to shift your mindset and get you into a place where your body will accept some of the things that we'll talk about next to more physically get you into a sleep mode.
Brenda Zane 19:00
So the first thing to really look at is the environment of where you're sleeping. What are your sheets looking like? What is your mattress? Like? Is there a lot of clutter in your room? Has it kind of become the catch all for all the stuff that you don't know what else to do within your house? Does it smell just looking around at your environment can and change in your environment to become a place where you love to go? And I think that's what I would would ask is when you go into your bedroom, and when you're when you're getting ready to go to bed, do you love where you are? And does it just make you feel peaceful? Does it feel like a sanctuary? And if it doesn't, just take a look at some of the things that you can do. It's pretty easy to just declutter things right now, if you're listening in in more of real time, we are having more time at home and so this might be a really good time to just look around your bedroom and see how you can makeit the most comfortable the most inviting that you possibly can. So this might mean that you just get some new sheets, it might mean you get some new pillows, we tend to hang on to things like pillows for years and years and years and they actually do need to be replaced. You might want to get a fluffy rug or a nice lamp that can dim. You know, if you're ambitious, you might even want to paint. But these are all things that can, for one feel really good to just get in and do and to make some changes. But they're also really important for setting the stage of getting you into a place where when you walk into your room you feel like Ah, this is this is a space for me.
Brenda Zane 20:46
Another thing that you can do is to start winding down is to get in to a just a very simple and short Yin yoga routine. Yin Yoga is just a series of stretching movements that really kind of loosen up all the fashia in your body. And it's very, very calming. This is not like a difficult workout where you're going to be sweating. It's just a really nice way to wind down at the end of the day. And doing something like that for 10 to 15 minutes, will really start to calm your body down and get it into rest mode. And one of the greatest poses for this and there's lots of resources in in the sleep guide if you want to look these up, but just laying with your legs up a wall. So laying on your back, put your legs up a wall, so you're sort of in an L shape is really incredibly calming for your body and doing that for 10 minutes can really shift you into a good mode for sleeping.
Brenda Zane 21:48
You're going to want to start with a ritual and I would rather call it that than a routine, a lot of times you'll see you know you need a sleep routine. I like to think of it as a ritual, which makes it just something that you look forward to a little bit more than a routine. And the first part of having a routine for sleep is to set your bedtime and really make it non negotiable. This is a thing where you're going to have to have other people in your house, get on board with you. And so it might mean having a conversation to say, I am prioritizing my sleep, this is something I'm doing for myself, this is something I'm doing for you, and set your bedtime and then don't change it, you really need to get into a pattern of going to sleep and waking up at the same time. So get everybody on board, let them know that you're going to be knocking out at a certain time and they can do you know whatever they want with their routine. But this is something that you really need and that you are doing for yourself but also for them.
Brenda Zane 22:52
And then another thing to do within this ritual is to get everything out of your head. We tend to go to bed with a million things on our mind, and our brain keeps going. And so if you've got all kinds of things running around in your head, things that you need to do things that you're worried about things that you need to check off the list, those are going to stay with you. So I always recommend having a little pad of paper next year bed next year where you're going to be sleeping and write down before you get into bed, everything that's on your mind. It could be really big things. It could be really small things like don't forget to take the trash out in the morning. But getting it all out on a piece of paper. Just relieves that from your head and gives you a little bit more space to let rest in. So be sure and do that. And that might be a list that you start earlier in the day. Just so that you know you don't miss anything. But then that way when you lay your head down, you don't have to worry it's all going to be there in the morning for you.
Brenda Zane 23:56
Then there's some pretty basic things that I think a lot of people know but it's to remember is caffeine, don't have any caffeine three hours before bed is just setting herself self up to be awake. And don't forget that caffeine and soda and tea, it's not just coffee. So those are just some sneaky little things to look at and make sure that you're cutting those off earlier in the day. And also limiting alcohol at least two hours before bed. Alcohol is really rapidly metabolized in your system. And so when your body washes the alcohol out, it causes sort of this rebound alertness and that often means that you are waking up at two or three o'clock in the morning, wide awake, your body has processed alcohol out and this is when normally you would be having a really deep period of REM or deep sleep. So if you're waking up during that period, you're going to be groggy and more tired the next morning because you didn't get enough REM sleep Be really thoughtful about cutting that off earlier or not at all so that you're not interfering with that deep sleep and sitting wide awake at two or three o'clock in the morning.
Brenda Zane 25:11
You can also make sure that if you are using a device later in the day, use some blue light blocking glasses. It's just really important to make sure that your body is getting set up to release melatonin so if it's consistently looking at this blue light your body does not know that it's time to go to sleep and it won't naturally release the melatonin that it that it should also take in a shower an hour and a half before you want to sleep raises your body temperature so that as you're starting to wind down and get into bed, your body temperature is dropping and that will definitely help you get to sleep. I would say take a bath but I would bet that the most of you do not have the ability to get into a bathtub and just relax an hour and a half before you want to sleep. So if you can just hop into a warm shower. It doesn't have to be long, but just enough to raise your body temperature and get it up and then be able to start letting your yourself wind down. And then wherever you're going to be, just turn the lights down a bit. So sitting in bright lights also does not signal to your body that this is time to go to sleep. All of these things are meant to turn on your body's natural mechanism that releases melatonin. And so all of these things are very specific to those signals. So turning down the lights, lighting, a candle, just all of those things that can help to relax you. using essential oils or an oil diffuser can also be a really nice way to just from a sensory standpoint, say to your body, this is time to go to sleep.
Brenda Zane 26:49
Now the next one might be a challenge for a lot of you and that is to turn off your technology including putting your phone on Do Not Disturb. And I know I struggled with this one for so long, I wanted to make sure that if my son called during the night that I would get the call and I would leave my phone on right next to my ear actually laying in bed with me. And of course I heard every vibration every notification, and it just kept me awake constantly. So what I would recommend is let your special what I would recommend is to let your very special child who is causing havoc in your life, let them know that you are going to be putting your phone on Do Not Disturb at whatever time your bedtime is actually about a half an hour before. And let them know that if there is a true emergency, they can call and if they call three times at least on most phones, you and if they're in your favorites, you'll still get that phone call to come through. This way, you're not tempted to be checking your phone looking at when it vibrates. Who is that is it my child is just, it's one of the hardest things to do. But it is one of the most important to free your mind of that constant worry. So you might have to kind of ease into this, it may be a week or so of just slowly letting it go. But I would really, really recommend trying this as one of the top ways to get some better sleep. And putting it out of reach is really important. Because if you do hear that vibration or that notification, chances are you're going to reach out and get that phone and look at it. And then that just kills all of the work that you did to start falling asleep.
Brenda Zane 28:47
You also want to make sure that your room is cool, don't have your room really warm. So cool it down to 60 to 68 degrees. That might mean that you need to open a window or it may mean depending on where you live that you need to To close the window and turn on the air conditioner, but keeping it cool and dark is really, really what you want. So that might also mean some blackout shades, it might mean that you need to put on eye covering that will keep your room dark the whole night. But whatever you do, make sure and just keep it cool and dark. There's also a couple of teas that are very good at promoting sleep, and those are chammomile and passionflower tea. So there is I think those are sort of old wives tales, but they really are sleep-inducing. So those teas are great. And there's also some evidence that shows that a tart cherry juice is also really good to drink at night. And within the sleep guide that's on my website, you'll be able to get I think there's eight kind of healthy late-night snacks eight or nine that are sleep-inducing foods that are also healthy for you. So you might want to check that out.
Brenda Zane 30:01
There's also weighted blankets. And if you haven't tried one of these, they're amazing. These weighted blankets feel so good. And they really kind of just calm you down and make you feel very rested. And those in addition to a to keeping your feet warm. So cold feet really do help keep you up at night and it makes you really restless. So, the reason that is is when your feet are cold, they constrict the blood vessels, it constricts the blood vessels and it causes less blood to circulate. And so warming your feet before you go to bed, kind of gives your brain a signal that it's bedtime. And that means that you could wear socks to bed. There's some really great ones in natural materials like some soft wool or cashmere or bamboo, and those it sounds expensive to get cashmere socks. It's really not there's some very reasonable ones out there. But just make sure that they are not tighter constricting, so you don't want to have anything tight around your ankles. You can also just make rice socks which feel really great as well. So just take your socks, fill them up with rice, tie off the top and then put them in the microwave for a minute or two and then put those in your bed and that's a great thing to do if you don't like to wear socks to bed.
Brenda Zane 31:21
There's also some evidence that eating dinner earlier and then having a little snack later at night is better for your sleep in the way that you're not having to process a lot of food and you won't have and you won't have the reflux that can keep you up with heartburn. So try eating your dinner a little bit earlier. You know don't sit on the couch at eight o'clock and eat a heavy meal. Try to do that earlier and then have a later a little snack later on. And those could be foods like pistachios and almonds and kiwi fruit promote the really melatonin. So if you like those a couple of hours before, you're going to be going to sleep, those are great foods to snack on.
Brenda Zane 32:08
There's also some really great meditations and sort of sleep music that you can listen to, or white noise machines. And I know a lot of people use Insight Timer, that's an app that you can get for your phone. And they've got literally thousands of free sleep meditations that you can just sort of have on quietly now if you're, if you're following the phone away from you, you might have to turn it up a little bit so that you can keep your phone far away from you. But there's a really good way to kind of just allow yourself to sleep. And if you are like me and you have a snore in your house or in your bed, you're going to want to get some earplugs or find a separate space to be for a while so this doesn't mean that you have to not sleep together. forever. But while you're trying to catch up and get into a routine, this might mean that you need to, you know, use earplugs or just find a separate space to be for a little bit to catch up on your sleep.
Brenda Zane 33:13
And one of the best things that I have found and I use this over and over along with my meditation is just doing deep breathing exercises. So we spend so much time just in sort of a state of anxiety, and a state of, you know, fight or flight that we tend to breathe very shallow. And that really kind of keeps our bodies in this kind of crisis mode. So doing deep breathing exercises, and one of them is the 4-7-8 breath. And again, this will be in the sleep guide is incredibly effective at calming down your system. And that's just where you sort of exhale all your air through your mouth. Then close your lips and inhale through your nose just for a count of four and hold it for a count of seven, and then after seven seconds, exhale for eight seconds. So it's that 4-7-8. And then do that over and over. And if you do that for about five or 10 minutes, it really just calms your entire system down and lets all the other pieces of the puzzle that you've put together.
Brenda Zane 34:20
So the smells and the sounds, those will all just come together and really combined with the deep breathing, to relax your body. And if you can't fall asleep within about 10 or 15 minutes, just get up and do something else from your routine again, so maybe you didn't try the essential oil so try that but laying in bed and being frustrated about it just sends the signal to your body that this is not a place of rest that this is a place of frustration and a place of awakeness so just get up, find something to do for a few minutes. You know, try maybe grab a handful of almonds but you know Whatever you do, like don't turn on the TV, don't get on the computer, don't check your text messages, your email, just make it the time for you to focus on getting yourself back to sleep. Otherwise, this, all of those will just stimulate everything in your body and make it even harder than to fall asleep.
Brenda Zane 35:19
And if you're still having problems, you can try either melatonin or valerian root supplements. But I always encourage people to try these other methods first, because your body does naturally have melatonin and it will release it if it gets the right signals. So you just need to give it the right signals and sort of the help that it needs to help you get to sleep naturally. And that's always a better solution than trying to use supplements or or medication. But again, if none of this works and you're still not sleeping, it's not a bad thing to ask your doctor for some medication or some advice from them, to see if you can just get yourself some rest because it really is kind of the first domino in the row that if your sleep goes, and then your focus goes and then your patients goes, and then everything sort of falls apart from there. So this is think of this as the first domino in the row that you want to keep standing up, so that all the rest don't sort of go crashing down.
Brenda Zane 36:21
I hope this has been helpful. I know it's very tactical, but I also speak with enough of you enough time to know that this is a real concern. And it's a really big problem. And I know that frustration, I know the feeling of laying awake and then falling asleep and waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep. So it's a big interference in life. And I think it's worth spending a few weeks just experimenting again, you might try one or two of these things, not all of them. But doing that. You know one thing at a time. It'll just start you'll start to realize what feels right for you and You know, you're gonna have to, again, let people know in your house that you are prioritizing this. And that you really need to ask them to support you in what you're doing kind of think of it as a prescription from a doctor, to say, this is something you need to do and take seriously and, and then, you know, get it into a mode where you really, really look forward to going to bed. And again, it's that very special ritual, it's the time for you. It's just your own special time that you're going to use to restore yourself and then in turn that helps your child.
Brenda Zane 37:35
So, again, the sleep guide has all this information. It's on BrendaZane.com/sleep, I would love to have you grab that. And there'll be links in there to the research that I used for this episode, and lots of resources for you. So thank you for listening.
Please help me reach more parents by just going to the main screen if you're listening on Apple podcasts. Which I know a lot of you are. Just go to the main screen for hope stream and then you can scroll down and you'll see a row of stars. You can tap the stars and rate it and then if you have thoughts that you want to share with me or with other listeners, you can write a review that really does help get more people visibility to the show. All right, thank you so much. Be good to yourself, and I look forward to seeing you here again next week.